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Today is special

December 7, 2009

I have been away, working hard on getting my skills up to par to get this site really hopping with animations and such, I’ll be back VERY soon better than ever believe it.

In the meantime today is December 7, the “day that shall live in infamy.”

In this Paris Hilton, Get Rich or die tryin’ America, remember today is the anniversary of when our country was attacked and entered World War II.  Remember, there was a time when America and yes even American’s actually had pride in their nation and themselves, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?  Remember, what happened that day, and also remember how great we used to be.

December 7, 1941

December 7, 1941

Attacked

USS Arizona Memorial

New Dan Naturman Show podcast is up

October 12, 2009

This week – Dan weighs in on the Letterman brouhaha, our weekly news roundup and more!

Take it on your iPod listen at work, 24/7 and it’s FREE.

Do yourself a favor give it a whirl…

http://www.dannaturman.com/

(Show runs about 45 mins)

(BOTH WMA and Mp3 Formats)

Eric Mangini & the Browns, Biggest mess in the NFL

October 7, 2009

Yes, in a league where the Oakland Raiders start Jamarcus Russel with no real back-up there is a bigger disaster! That disaster is Eric “Mangenius” Mangini. What a moron, as was well documented in the blog before, this guy is consumed with, what players are taking water bottles, who parks in which parking spot and taping all TV announcers to see who is bashing him.

Here’s the point of this post, the Browns are 0-4 and the joke of the NFL, the NY Jets are 3-1 and a Cinderella story that gets alot of publicity and salutations. Why though? Well because of the Genius of course! First the Browns had the #5 pick in the NFL draft this past year, did they pick Mark Sanchez? Knowshon Moreno? No & no, well who did they pick? Nobody.  The genius with his “inside info.” on the Jets deals the pick to the Jets for the #17, #52 & , Kenyon Coleman, Brett Ratliff, and Abram Elam. A practice squad QB & two reserve’s then they deal #17 to Tampa for # 21 and they take Center Alex Mack and with the very next pick #22 the Vikings take Percy Harvin. So what did the “fleeced” Jets do with #5? Drafted Mark Sanchez, pumped life into the franchise and got MAJOR NFL media buzz! And jumped out to a 3-1 start.

Sanchez more than thrilled

Eric Mangini, step one of making the BROWNS better

His old players on the jets LOVE their new coach Rex Ryan, and are a free wheeling high flying aggressive team, winning games. Mangini, reigns down on his players for taking water bottles and parking in the wrong spots and revolving the Quarterbacks, and keeping it a secret from them, for “competitive advantage.” What a jackass.

As if that wasn’t bad enough what happens today? They trade former all pro WR Braylon Edwards, granted he wore out his Cleveland welcome, but a BIG part of why he is imploding and fighting with LeBron James’ posse etc. is because he hates the genius and wants OUT!  Yes, he is a HUGE baby that drops ALOT of passes, 100% granted.  Fine, if he had to go he had to go, so where does the potential #1 WR get traded there’s 31 choices, take a guess? You guessed it THE NY JETS!!! Hahah you can’t make this up, for #2 or 3 WR Chasi Stucky and LB Jason Trusnick, and two draft picks believed to be third- and fifth-rounders.  What if he can ressurect his career do you reaslly want it to be within the conference, to your old team that fired you, whom you’ve already given a franchise QB?

Jets get Braylon Edwards another step to make the BROWNS better

Jets get Braylon Edwards another step to make the BROWNS better

This guy is unbelievable, if getting fired from the Jets was his divorce, he has since given the “ex” a new stud to enjoy as well as a fancy car for him to drive around in. Teams have an identity on offense and win with the big 3 a QB, #1 WR & star RB. The 0-4 Browns have potentially given the NY Jets 2 out of the 3 in the last 6 months. Why you may ask? Because once again the “genius” thinks he’s Bill Bellichick, who would acquire draft picks for AGING, Eric, did you hear that listen I’ll write it again for AGING, coming up to a new contract expensive players! You idiot, not franchise QB’s and young WR’s (yes Braylon had to go, but to the Jets again?) for a batch of reserve players and low-ish draft picks.

The black Browns garb gives you an idea of his mentality.  I mean black Borwns stuff?

Is that Kevin Federline? No, it's another fat idiot, this one is supposed to fix the Browns. Uh-o, how's that going? Well, the Jets are 3-1

At the very least where is your pride? With every Jet win & Cleveland loss the “genius” looks worse. I have said before it’s good for the league when Cleveland is good, great fans, good history, good playoff climate etc. But it’s 10 yrs and waiting, the shame of it is the old Browns, The Ravens are good every year.

Just fire this moron, he seems to still think he’s the Jets coach anyway.

Romeo Crennel was fired, and as it turns out, things looked better with him.

Romeo Crennel, during "good times," they look anywhere near 10 game winners now?

Jon & Kate plus 8, addendum

October 6, 2009

OK, OK let it not be said that we here at the Big Jerk Network, spout our opinion & then move on.  In our last post we applauded Jon Gosselin for wanting to end that train wreck show for the sake of his children.  We still agree that mess of a show and marriage needs to simply go away.  However, we were ignorant as to what a butt-wipe Jon really is.  We admitted in the original post that we didn’t know anything about them prior to this never ending break up drama.  But Here’s some Jon tidbits to illustrate Jon is most likely a major doucher…

Per AOLTV...

–Jon Gosselin never ceases to amaze us. Every time we think he’s topped himself, he pulls another stunt. The latest is Fox 411’s claim that he’s hired a paparazzo to be his bodyguard. A close second? Radar Online’s report that he asked the babysitter he was hooking up with to lie about their relationship to girlfriend Hailey Glassman. It appears Kate will have more than enough fodder if she actually lands her own talk show, as Perez Hilton speculates. (Sept. 16)

–Let us count the ways that Jon Gosselin’s D-baggery continues to amaze us. One: Nice guy that he is, he’s giving his kids’ beloved dogs back to the breeder because Kate doesn’t take good enough care of them, according to Perez Hilton. Two: The National Enquirer reveals the father of eight has had a vasectomy — and drops the info as a pickup line. We’ll leave that one alone. As for the dogs, the kids seem to love ’em, but Jon doesn’t seem to care too much about the kids’ feelings these days. (Sept. 17)

–We’re sick of hearing about Jon Gosselin’s party-dad ways. Like that he had a two-night threesome while he was in Vegas (bleh — we think we threw up a little in our mouth). And we really don’t need to know that he’s “good in bed” — thanks for that little nugget,
Celebitchy. At least Kate seems to be keeping a low profile these days. You know, until she starts filming her new talk show this weekend, as Radar Online claims. Sigh … (Sept. 18)

–File under TMI: Jon Gosselin is a sex addict, claims Perez Hilton. He’s been hooking up with women left and right, and now he thinks he can “get anyone he wants.” And that’s exactly why girlfriend Hailey Glassman just got a boob job in a bid to stop him from cheating, dishes Star. Good luck with that, girl. (Sept. 24)

–Jon Gosselin wants to shave off 20 to 30 pounds via liposuction so he can get more girls, claims Celebitchy. While in Vegas last month, he scouted plastic surgeons because he felt self-conscious about baring his pot belly at the pool party he was hosting. Does that mean girlfriend Hailey Glassman’s doctor dad won’t be giving him a freebie? (Sept. 28)

I’m sure there are more.  But now we have a much more rounded view of this tool, and he really is a major tool.  So who knows if it’s true he only wants to be off TV because he’s out now and the women gravy train is over, or if he’s sincere?  The only thing we are sure of is we don’t care we just want them BOTH to GO AWAY!

And women if you’re banging Jon Gosselin, because he’s on TV you are pathetic and probably need to kill yourself.

Seriously, if you bang Jon becuse he has a show where he's the dad of 8, just jump off a cliff.

Seriously, if you bang Jon Gosselin because he had a reality show with his wife, where he's the dad of 8, just jump off a cliff.

We also think Kate sucks but hey she really does look like Kayla Synz, and we like Kayla Synz, so today we’re slightly more anti -Jon.

I did one of these in my prior post too.  But I just enjoy the Kayla Synz (left) and Kate Gosselin comparisons, so here's another one

I did one of these in my prior post too. But I just enjoy the Kayla Synz (left) and Kate Gosselin comparisons, so here's another one

Jon and Kate Plus 8 – 1 = Let it end, already. Time is now 14 minutes & counting, Kate

October 2, 2009

Much like most straight single men in my age demographic I was completely unaware of what Jon & Kate plus 8 was, I had never heard of it and had no clue whatsoever who these people were.  Now much like the rest of our pop culture America am I all too well aware of them.  I think the whole thing is absurd but there’s just something about that Kate that gives me a cold chill.  This Jon guy seems affable enough but I think she thinks shes “on the scene” and superficially I can see where one would have enough of her.  I mean she shows up on magazine covers beach shots and that View.  She’s quite taken with her “fame.”

Kate Gosselin on one of her View appearences

Kate Gosselin on one of her View appearances

Moving on I saw this story online and actually thought for the very 1st time one of them was making a piece of sense.  Jon Gosselin wants the cameras to go away. That’s the whole story here’s an excerpt to give you an idea…

Jon Gosselin told Larry King an “epiphany” made him realize TLC’s recently re-tooled Kate Plus Eight has exploited his family and claimed the network terminated his contract after it learned he wanted to end the program.

“I don’t want them to film anymore. I don’t think it’s healthy for them,” Gosselin said on Larry King Live on Thursday.”And I the reason I don’t think it’s healthy for them is that we’re going through a divorce right now. And I don’t think it should be televised. And I think my kids should be taken off the show.”

News: Kate Plus Eight in turmoil

Kate Gosselin‘s attorney, Mark Momjian, appeared on the program as well, to say the couple’s divorce will not be delayed and that Kate would end the show if she felt it was detrimental to the children.

“What he doesn’t understand is our life is our show, and our show is our life. I want it to stop,” Gosselin said in response.”I want it to stop completely.”

“I really have to be a father here. I can’t be a kid anymore,” he continued. “I have to be a man.”

I think that makes perfect sense, I mean these people get on these reality shows and start to believe they are the celebrity they always “admired” they don’t realize it’s fake, I always say fame is byproduct of an unrelated success.  If you do something that makes you get noticed it is what it is and hopefully you can do it again or more of it.  But if you get known for having cameras follow you around then it’s not real and will go away, because you didn’t actually have any success at anything.  That “cute couple” that was young and had all these kids is gone now.  Replaced by body guards, trainers, girlfriends, nannies, tv contracts, the View, magazines, TMZ coverage and all the trappings pseudo celebrity.

From parents to tabloid fodder, problem is Kate doesn't seem to understand this doesn't mean your a "success"

From parents to tabloid fodder, problem is Kate doesn't seem to understand this doesn't mean you're a "success"

Oddly when I when i was looking for pictures I was struck by how much Kate resembles adult film “actress” Kayla Synz (no comment), I suppose if they ever make a movie about the sultry side of what went on with “Jon and Kate plus 8” we know who to cast.  Hey you don’t even have to change the title for that kind of film!

"star" Kate Gosselin on the left and "Star" Kayla Synz on the right.

"Reality Star" Kate Gosselin on the left and "Adult Star" Kayla Synz on the right.

I will say that being on a reality show seems to be good for stimulating hair follicles so maybe it’s not all bad.  Get that man a new comb!

Oddly all this stress made John Gosselin GROW more hair.  He should be studied.

Oddly all this stress made Jon Gosselin GROW more hair. He should be studied.

All that aside, I think Jon is right, he does seem to have the desire to let this go and is reminding himself he’s a real person, that “dad” he was on the show wasn’t a character, it was really HIM.  I think he had fun with it and got some definite “perks” but I think he realizes this just needs to end now for the sake of sanity.  Kate unfortunately doesn’t have any such desire and doesn’t seem to recollect whatsoever that she’s not really famous, she seems to think she’s “a star”  We don’t need Kate plus 8, and more importantly the kids don’t.

They used to be a regular couple.  What we now realize was the good old days before all the "good things" happened

They used to be a regular couple. What we now realize was the salad days before all the "good things" happened

Rough seas ahead for Jon I suspect.

Barack Obama, less is more babe

October 2, 2009

Now look, RARELY will I venture into politics because I hate to and people get too worked up.  So I’m going to keep this on a very superficial level.  Maybe it’s just me but I feel the office of the President should have some nobility to it.  I know, I know people will think “nobility” with Clinton in there or Bush etc etc. Yeah, yeah well I feel America started to look weak and the mass populous started losing faith when the press in this country started going after the Office of the President and trying to make him look the fool at every turn.  I am certainly not saying let him act however he sees fit and be Teflon in terms of negative coverage.  I simply mean the wanton need to tear him down at every turn, no matter who it is or which party.


I wish Obama was just less in my face all the time, he just makes me feel like he’d rather have his picture taken than anything else.  Showing up at the all-star game is those silly jeans, posting the photo of the children of Spain’s Prime Minister with no knowledge of that countries policies of customs, the endless infomercials/appeals for his health care package, not to mention the 1/2 hour prime time shows during the election.  And now going to the Olympic selection with Oprah.

Obama and Oprah, ok, ok we get it already, now just run the country now

Obama and Oprah, ok, ok we get it already, now just run the damn country

Look everyone knows the IOC is a crooked operation, so if Chicago got the Olympics it would look like the USA fixed it, thus making the country that much more unpopular worldwide.  And now that Rio de Janeiro, Brazil got it, our Commander-in Chief was just left standing there as the USA was the 1st nation eliminated from consideration.  This is a good task for that nightmare Joe Biden or even Hillary.  Just sit there and don’t make things worse, a nice public busy work assignment.  Not our leader.


If I could tell this administration anything, buddy please less is more, you’re just overexposing yourself.

And I'm sorry to all the shills but Micelle Obama dresses badly, she doesnt flatter her shape, had to say it

And I'm sorry to all the shills but Micelle Obama dresses badly, she doesnt flatter her shape, had to say it

I was wondering what happened to Nicole Eggert

September 29, 2009

I heard Nicole Eggert on the Howard Stern show (back when there was one) saying how she had her implants taken out and quit Baywatch because she just didn’t like the lifestyle anymore.  She sounded morose and just over the whole Hollywood Hottie thing.  Well, she has resurfaced.

Nicole Eggert then and now.  Am I nuts or does she not look that bad really?  Well, she's happy

Nicole Eggert then and now. Am I nuts or does she not look that bad really? Well, she's happy

She’s actually coming back to TV I guess it took a while but VH1 has assembled a batch of new celebs to do the Celebrity Fit Club show, which is filming now.  Here’s to hoping Nicole can rebound.  Look the girl had to do naked love scenes with both Corey Haim & Feldman, you’d probably want to quit acting and eat comfort foods too, go easy on her she’s been through alot there.


Oddly also on the show is Kevid Federline AND his original pre-Brittney baby momma Shar Jackson, that should be weird-ish.  K-Fed has really ballooned.

Time really is flying by I still think of him as that smuh guinea T wearing jerk off.  Oddly seeing him like this, I kinda miss that version.

Time really is flying by I still think of Kevin Federline as that smug guinea T wearing jerk off. Oddly seeing him like this, I kinda miss that version.

Here’s the VH1 official release…

We can confirm that Kevin Federline will reunite with his pre-Britney ex Shar Jackson on Celebrity Fit Club 7. Rounding out the cast include King of R&B Bobby Brown, former Baywatch babe Nicole Eggert, ex-Skid Row frontman Sebastian Bach, High School Musical’s Kaycee Stroh, Project Runway Season 1 winner Jay McCarroll and Bad Girls ClubTanisha Thomas. Dr. Ian Smith and Harvey Walden will return to the panel with a new life coach: Rhonda Britten. Filming for the new season is underway, and it is expected to air in early 2010.

Fit Club 7 Cast.

Fit Club 7 Cast.

So does this mean now that Sebastian Bach has been on every single show on the VH1 lineup both peast & present?  “Savage Animal!”